Tonight, I was feeling a little like Wayne and Garth from SNL's "Wayne"s World", whenever they would meet the person of their latest rock star obsession..."We're not worthy! We're not worthy!" Or sort of like Isaiah, who, when he approached the throne of God, was so humbled in His presence, he could only exclaim, "woe is me...I am a man of unclean lips and I live among people of unclean lips!" yet answered "Here am I, send me," when God asked, "whom shall I send?"
The longer we are living in our new neighborhood, the more I realize that God has us on mission. And tonight, He showed us flat out plain that the people that we are getting to know more each day, and grow more fond of... our neighbors who are unchurched... need God. They are the dearest people, and have embraced us as we've settled into our new neighborhood. God has literally opened doors of invitation to their homes, and shown us favor with them. As we shared a meal together tonight at one lady's home, the majority of the conversation was about church, and opinions about church. Person after person expressed their theology, and their reasons for not going, and what they believed or didn't believe. and all I could think of was this:
Lord God, I am so not worthy to serve you. I can see exactly why you have placed us here, for this time, and this season to meet these new people, and to share the love of Jesus Christ with them. I can't do this alone. I am not able to save. But YOU can. I don't have all the answers. But YOU do. I am so not worthy to meet this challenge, buy YOU are! And in your infinite wisdom, Lord, you still choose the least of us to be an influence in our broken world. You choose the simple to confound the wise. You ask us to be prepared at all times to have an answer for those who would ask us.
I prayed tonight, and asked God to do what Paul had asked... "to pray that I would proclaim this message clearly, and that I would be wise in the way I acted toward outsiders, that my conversation would be seasoned with salt, and to make the most of every opportunity." Because I knew, sitting in that room tonight, with eight neighbors, that if I am to make the most of every opportunity, and I am to be wise in how I act, then I need to depend on Him to do that. If God has placed us here, for this time, with these neighbors, HE will be the one to do the saving. HE will be the one to beautifully show Himself through us, and only because He must increase and I must decrease. Which is hard to do when you are the one in the room visible to a lot of unsaved people.
So, as I sat there tonight, answering questions, and listening to the longings of hearts, and the opinions about church, I knew that the only way that God would use me would be if I were to do as Paul instructed:
"devote yourselves to prayer, to be watchful and thankful... that God would open a door for our message... "
To love the Lord our God with all my heart, soul and mind, , and to always be prepared (in His Word), praying ( without ceasing) , and pleasing (Him, by living as obediently as I can.)