Chapter One...RECEPTIONISTS SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS!

I work at a very large church, as a receptionist. At our church, we practice adult baptism by immersion, which means the fashion de jour for baptismal candidates on Sunday is  a white t-shirt and white shorts under a white baptismal gown. Everyone gets dunked, and everyone gets soaking wet.

Ring, ring.

"This is Lynne. How may I help you?"

"Ah, yeah. I'm reading the letter about baptism on Sunday, and it says I have to wear white shorts. I don't have any white shorts. Can I just wear my underwear?"

"Oh, no, sir. We don't want you to wear your underwear." 

(gasps from passersby, concurrent with a sudden realization of what I had said)

Chapter Two...MORE EVIDENCE THAT MEN DON'T KNOW FASHION.

"Well, (attempting to stifle giggles) what color shorts do you have?"

"Um, I have yellow, red, and brown."

"Okay...."

"And I have flame print."

"Why don't we go with the yellow."